FINDING BALANCE IN MARRIAGE AND MOTHERHOOD

Marriage and motherhood are two of the greatest gifts of my life—right after my relationship with Christ. What’s funny is, I never thought either would be part of my story. As a teenager, I used to tell my mom I never wanted to get married, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted kids. I pictured myself as a single businesswoman in a big house with a Range Rover parked outside, living life on my own terms.

But God, in His perfect timing, had other plans. And I couldn’t be more grateful. Today, I proudly wear the titles of Brandon’s wife and Braylen’s mom. My life looks nothing like I imagined, yet everything I truly needed. That’s the beauty of God—He gives us exactly what we need, never too early, never too late, always right on time.

Growing Together Through the Seasons

Brandon and I met when I was 18, started dating at 19, and spent years growing up—both together and apart. We broke up in our late 20s, and honestly, that season apart was necessary. We both needed time to mature individually before God brought us back together stronger and more aligned than ever. Now, looking back, I see His hand in every detail.

Marriage has taught me that growth is not always linear. There are seasons where you grow side by side, and seasons where you need to step back and grow separately. Both are important. Both prepare you for what’s ahead.

Who Comes First: Spouse or Child?

This is one of those hot topics everyone has an opinion on. For us, the answer is simple: our marriage comes first.

That doesn’t mean neglecting our son. It means that if Brandon and I take care of each other, our son will naturally thrive in the love and security we’ve built. Prioritizing our marriage sets the tone for our entire household.

For us, this looks like:

• Daily and weekly check-ins to make sure we’re aligned.

• Sharing responsibilities without falling into gender roles. (Brandon actually does most of the cleaning because he loves it!)

• Both of us cooking, doing bath time, picking out outfits, and making sure our home runs smoothly.

This isn’t “his” or “her” job—it’s our home, our son, our responsibility.

Keeping Love Alive After The Baby

One of the biggest challenges couples face after becoming parents is staying connected. It’s so easy to let intimacy, fun, and friendship fade into the background of diapers and dishes. Brandon and I made a promise early on that we would fight to keep us strong—because we wanted our son to grow up seeing what a healthy, thriving marriage looks like.

We plan solo date nights, take trips without our son, and make time for small moments of connection. And above all, we keep communication at the center. It’s not always perfect, but we’ve learned that unspoken feelings can easily grow into distance. So, we talk. We check in. We pray together.

Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way

• Balance is built, not found. It doesn’t just happen—you create it with intention and effort.

• Your marriage is the foundation. A strong marriage creates a safe and joyful environment for your children.

• Love is in the little things. Notes, flowers, movie nights, and meaningful conversations matter just as much as big vacations.

• Growth takes time. The seasons of your relationship—both the highs and lows—shape you into a stronger couple.

• Grace is essential. None of us get it right 100% of the time. Extend grace to your spouse, your kids, and yourself.

Simple Ways to Connect

Whether your child is napping or wide awake, here are some simple, meaningful ways to stay connected:

• Use conversation cards to spark meaningful discussions.

• Stay up late for a movie or board game.

• Plan an at-home date night: cook their favorite meal, print a menu, light candles, and make it special.

• Surprise each other with handwritten notes or flowers—weekly or biweekly.

Balancing marriage and motherhood isn’t about doing it all perfectly—it’s about doing it together. It’s about choosing love, grace, and teamwork every single day.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: when your marriage is nurtured, everything else flows from that. Your children will see it, feel it, and grow stronger because of it.

At the end of the day, I don’t just want to be known as a good wife or a good mom. I want to be known as a woman who built her home on love, faith, and intentionality. And with God at the center, I know we’ll keep finding that balance—one season, one day, one moment at a time.