WHEN LIFE DOESN'T GO AS PLANNED: EMBRACING THE SHIFT INTO MOTHERHOOD

It’s funny how we often think we have life all figured out.

You go through the process of discovering who you are—learning what you like and don’t like, what you’ll tolerate, and what you’ll never settle for. You get into a rhythm, build your comfort zone, and then—bam—something major happens that shifts everything.

That moment for me was pregnancy.

My husband and I were in our groove. We had our routine, we were aligned in our goals, and we were fully enjoying life—traveling, loving each other, building our dreams. Then came the unexpected shift. And while it was beautiful, it was also jarring. I wasn’t prepared for how much it would challenge me—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I Wasn’t That Girl Who Dreamed of Motherhood

If I’m being honest, I never really dreamed of having kids. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them—I was just neutral. If it happened, it happened. If not, I was okay with that too. But one thing I did know was that if I became a mom, I would give it my all. I’d show up with excellence, just like I do in everything else I put my hands to. I’ve always set a high standard for myself, and motherhood would be no different.

So when I got pregnant, it didn’t immediately feel real. I almost felt like I was watching someone else’s life play out. I even took a second pregnancy test before my first doctor’s appointment just to be sure. My exact words were, “Let me not waste the doctor’s time.”

Coming to Terms with My New Reality

Even after the doctor confirmed what I already knew in my heart, it still didn’t quite sink in. I didn’t feel pregnant—I felt normal. Sure, I was a little more tired than usual, but I brushed it off. As my belly grew and I began to feel my baby move, the reality began to settle in slowly… but it was still hard to wrap my head around.

Then the holidays hit.

Christmas was approaching, and out of nowhere—I broke down. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. A wave of emotions hit me like a tidal wave. At first, I didn’t even understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling. But then it clicked:

I was grieving.

Not in a sad or hopeless way—but in a real way.I was silently mourning the life I was leaving behind. The version of me who had freedom. The “us” that existed before parenthood. I had dreams, goals, and a doctoral degree to finish. Brandon and I were thriving as a couple. I realized this would be our last Christmas as just the two of us—and it hit me hard.

Therapy + Jesus = My Lifeline

After that breakdown, Brandon gently encouraged me to talk to someone. I reached out to a friend who was in therapy and asked for a referral. I filled out the intake form, and soon after, I started therapy.

That decision changed everything.

My therapist helped me unpack what I was feeling. She gave me perspective, practical tools, and most of all—grace. She reminded me that what I was feeling was normal. That so many women wrestle with similar emotions but feel too ashamed or afraid to say it out loud.

She helped me see that I could do this.I could still be a good wife, an intentional mom, a thriving businesswoman, and finish my degree. But not by doing it all at once or expecting perfection. I needed to be intentional about what mattered most and allow space for grace in the process.

The Art of Surrender & Intentional Living

So I made a choice.I became intentional about spending alone time with my husband. I carved out time for rest and reflection. I gave myself permission to adjust my expectations and embrace this new chapter. I stopped trying to do everything exactly the way I did before—and instead started asking God to show me how to do it His way.

Because the truth is—God always gets His way.

He knows what I need. He knows my dreams. He knows the desires of my heart to succeed, to love, to serve, to nurture. He sees me, even when I’m figuring it out in real time. And He reminds me that I don’t have to carry it all alone. I just have to trust Him—and do my part.

What I’ve Learned Through It All

This journey has taught me so much about surrender, balance, and grace. It’s shown me that:

• Therapy and Jesus go together—real bad.

• Your life may shift after a baby, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. Embrace the transformation.

• You can’t control everything, but you can trust the One who does.

• Balance is the key to joy and success. Sometimes something has to pause—and that’s okay.

So, if you’re in a season of transition, wondering if your life will ever feel “normal” again—take heart. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

Let God guide you. Let therapy ground you. And most importantly—let grace carry you.